FLASHBACK EPISODE: When You Need to Make a Decision

In this FLASHBACK episode I share my favorite life coach strategies to help you make decisions. When you decide to become decisive, you open yourself up to growth, confidence and moving yourself forward so that you can achieve what you want in your career - and life.

I discuss the impact of being a good decision maker and share 7 “tricks” - questions you can ask yourself - to help make a decision. 

By the end of this episode you’ll have the knowledge and the tools you need to decide on your next move and propel yourself forward towards your goals.  

Transcript

I’m going to share decision making strategies that I use every day - not just for me, but for my friends, family and clients. So whatever big decisions you have looming in your head right now - the ones you've been struggling with for a while - you will know exactly what to do once you’ve finished listening to this episode. I’m so excited for you - ahead of time!

Let me also say that - if you struggle with making decisions - I’m with you. I get you. It’s something that I’m always working on. In fact, the word I chose as my theme  for 2022 is “Decisive”. I - like you - have so many ideas, swirling in my head. I had to laugh at myself when I was trying to decide what to name this podcast episode! I had 5 horses in the running and I was going back and forth…Oh, the irony.

I think learning how to make decisions begins with good habits. The more we get used to deciding on something, moving forward and having our own back - trusting ourselves with the decision we make - the better we’ll be at making decisions. Being decisive.

Growing up, my dad modeled this for me. He’s a retired physician and he’s the only person I’ve ever met who never - NEVER - procrastinates. If there was something important that needed to be done, he just did it. He would make a decision and move forward. And it has only recently occurred to me that - as a doctor - you HAVE to be decisive. You weigh your options, but you do it quickly and then you make a decision, don’t second guess yourself and follow through. Doing this for 50 years made him an expert decision maker.

So let’s become expert decision makers. Let’s become synonymous with “Decisive”. Are you ready? Let’s do this.

Your life - when you look at it - is a series of decisions. The decisions you make propel your life forward so you live it and experience it fully.

When you don’t make decisions, you stay put. Exactly where you are. Thinking the same thoughts. Not growing, not changing. 

Our lives are made up of a series of decisions. Your job search is the same. You’re going to have to make decisions and the tendency is to attach a lot of weight to each decision. Decisions that tie to your:

• Career path
• Family
• Where live or if you’ll have to move
• The amount of money you’d like to make

You’re confused. 

Maybe you know your options, but you don’t know how to move forward.

You’re trying to think of the RIGHT decision.

You overthink - you can feel your brain spinning.

You don’t know what to do, so you don’t do anything.

Do you ever hear yourself thinking, “I don’t know”.

I don’t know what I want to do. 

It feels like it’s important to be confused for a while. Like you need to be confused. The problem is this gives you no forward momentum. 

Confusion is always indulgent. Yes, that sounds harsh. But let’s look at it this way: Confusion doesn’t serve a higher purpose for you. It doesn’t serve the world.

I want to blow your mind right now - to let you know the impact that making - or not making a decision can have on your day - and your life.

• When you make decisions, you save time. “I don’t know” burns up your time. Keeps us in a place of limbo. It costs us our lives. Staying in limbo costs us our careers. And you don’t solve anything - you just postpone the decision. 

• Making decisions results in action. It propels you forward. It helps you put yourself and your worth out into the world. Avoiding decisions usually involves you consuming more information - trying to satiate yourself with more. When we make a decision, we move forward. Maybe it’s, “Yes, I’m going to return to work.” or “I’m going to try THIS new career path.” Then we take action!

• Making decisions causes us to grow. This is the opposite of confusion. Pretending that we don’t know what to do is the opposite of growth.

• Making decisions increases our confidence. We take action and we see what happens. We learn from it - decide if we want to keep doing something or stop doing something. As soon as we make a decision and get out of “I don’t know” our insecurity goes away. There’s an energy that comes with making a decision and moving forward that goes hand-in-hand with confidence. 

• Decisions are made in an instant. Thinking and pondering and researching and surveying everyone around you only seems necessary. All it does is prevent you from making a decision and moving forward - towards that action, growth and confidence.

• You may hear someone say, I need a week to make that decision. No, you just waited a week before you made the decision.

• You don’t make decisions, you stay put. Exactly where you are. Thinking the same thoughts. Not growing, not changing. 

• Making and unmaking a decision keeps you in the same place. I encourage you to make a decision and release it. Honor it. Go forth with it and embrace it. Have your back on it.

So now you understand the impact of making decisions. You’re game for being decisive. But are there any strategies - “tricks” you can use to help make decisions?

Why, I’m glad you asked! I’m going to give you some gold here. Specifically, 7 different strategies to help you make a decision. You won’t need to use all 7 - these are 7 options - Qs to ask so you can make a decision and move forward with confidence. 

1. Consider everything. Would you choose it now if there was no history bias? If you were starting brand new, would you do it all over again? For example, if you’re returning to work and you’re wondering if you should go back into the same field, ask yourself: “If I could do it all over again, the first time around, would I go into this field?”
2. When you’re trying to decide between two things: What if both of these things turn out perfectly - everything you’ve ever wanted. For example, say you’re on the fence about leaving your current company. Imagine the two options - leaving the company and staying at your company - and you succeed in both narratives. Take some time to visualize and feel yourself leaving the company. You leave and you get everything you want. It works out perfectly. Sit in that for a moment. Then, imagine that you stay at the company - and it works out perfectly. Everything you want, you have. Sit with that for a while.

Now ask yourself - which would you choose. I tell you, this exercise works. Whenever I use it - with my clients, my friends, family, myself. A decision pops into your head immediately. When it does, honor it. And move forward.

So often the reason you can’t make a decision when choosing between two options is because you do the opposite - you play out the narrative with failure. Your decision is clouded because of this. If you really want to know what you WANT (to get out of the “I don’t know” - play out these decisions with SUCCESS at the end).

3. What if failure is no big deal? If it didn’t matter if you failed, would you do it? Most of us were socialized to think of failure as a bad thing. You either win or you lose. You succeed or you fail. Winning = success = good. Losing = failure = bad. What if failure is learning. Let’s replace the word “failure” with learning. This would mean, “You either win or you learn.” “You succeed or you learn.” “Losing = learning.” 

In terms of the decision that you want to make: If it didn’t matter if you failed, would you still do it?  

When you take out the thought, “failure ruins everything” which one would you do?

4. Can you say “yes” to both?

Maybe you’ve taken a career break and you want to go back to work, but you also want to pick up your kids from school each day. What if you can do both? There are flexible work options, work from home options. There’s a good chance you can find a job where you can get that satisfaction of bringing home a paycheck, and be available to pick up your kids. 

5. 10 years from now, what does your future self say and why? Think of where you’ll be in 10 years - who you’re going to be in 10 years. What you’ll have and won’t have. Your future self is so much wiser than who you are right now - and you have a channel to her or to him. So go ahead and have a conversation. Your future self will cut straight to the chase and will tell you how it is.

6. What moves you towards who you want to be? Who will you be if you decide one way? Who will you be if you decide the other? Compare the two versions of yourself. Who do you want to be?

7. What is the worst case scenario? I like to think about the very worst case scenario. Just take yourself there - think all the things - imagine every single thing that could go wrong. Like, if you’re deciding whether or not to apply for a specific job. You don’t know if you should - or not. I like to just GO there, to the worst case scenario: You get called in for an interview. You show up and you clam up and can’t answer a single interview Q. Not a single one. The interviewer tells you on the spot that you screwed up and that you are definitely not getting the job. Then, as you’re leaving, you hear everyone talking about you and laughing at you - talking about how you’re the worst job candidate, ever. 

So, you’ve “gone there”. How are you feeling? Will you be okay? Most of the time when I take myself down a worst case scenario road like this, it does wind up with me being ridiculed in some way or another and I wind up thinking that those people are just jerks and I aren’t worth my energy. It helps to let your brain run away like mad with the scenario.

For many the worst case scenario is missing out on an opportunity to have a best case scenario.

So there you have it: Strategies so you can start making decisions now. To review:

• What if you could start over?
• What if both options turned out perfectly?
• What if failure is no big deal?
• Can you say “yes” to both?
• What would your future self say?
• What moves you towards who you want to be?
• What is the worst case scenario?

Usually what happens is that one of these Qs unlocks everything for you. Try them out - or try one out and let me know how it goes. This is going to be the day when you make an important decision and move yourself forward.

Until the next time we get together - Please, take good care and know that I’m cheering you on!